Ask Dr. Phil: M1 Questions
Hey M1s! You sent us your questions, and here are answers to the top four questions we received! If you have any other thoughts or questions, please send them to Dr. Phil at oncallstreetjournal@gmail.com, subject line "Ask Dr. Phil". Thanks and keep being curious!
Q1. How do you deal with a long distance relationship? (Think Alaska and Chicago)
This is a really good question, and a pretty common thing to happen in med school and life in general. There are many different ways that people cope with these situations, and I’m sure it isn’t easy regardless. To answer this question better, I referred to a friend from my class who has been successfully doing it for over a year now. Here are his wise thoughts—hope they help! And thanks for the question!
Hi there,
This is Sean responding (I'm the M2 who spoke a bit on this topic at the panel on Monday). My input is below. Please don't hesitate to let me know if you'd like to talk more about this (sean.jenvay@northwestern.edu). I remember how concerned I was last year and how much it helped to talk to people who'd been through something similar! :)
Long distance relationships aren't easy in medical school, but when are they ever? They take a great deal of work, but they are possible. And in my situation at least, they are well worth it. When I came to Feinberg last year, I left my girlfriend of over two years in California--she still had a year of undergrad left. Today, I'm looking forward to her moving out here and for us to start living together in Wicker Park in just a few weeks. Making it through M1 required a lot of effort, planning, compromise, and understanding. We started the year by carving out one night of the week that would be "ours". We would always expect to be with each other that night and not make any other plans. Generally, we'd use Facetime or some website to video chat and maybe watch a movie or a show together. We talked on the phone, at least for a short bit, almost every day, and texted regularly, but having that protected time together was so important. And it didn't just benefit our relationship, but also my own individual well being--having time each week to forget I was a medical student was an amazing relief. More on that point was how we planned visits. Everyone has their own frequency where they visit their SO or their SO visits them. Ours was generally one visit every six weeks. But it's all unique and depends on circumstances. I'm not well versed on travel between Alaska and Chicago, but you'd have to make some decisions based on prices and schedules. If you don't already have a finalized exam schedule for the year, you will soon and that will be a big help in planning. It is a safe bet that the weekends immediately following exams will be great times for visits. These times, too, can really give you time off from life as a med student. When my girlfriend and I were together, we were really together; always present. Of course, part of managing the relationship through school is also having understanding (usually on the part of the med student's SO) that the demands of med school can be really serious and sometimes you just have to focus on work. And so over all of this communication is absolutely crucial. You have to be able to say you need time when you need it, you have to be able to express feelings to each other clearly. No matter what you do, the distance will put strain on things and talking about them is the best way to cope. Sweeping them under rug will only help you grow apart. I'll cut this short before I write a novel, but if you want to talk any more about this I'd be happy to discuss further! All in all, long distance is a pain, but it can definitely work, even in med school.
Q2. What are the best resources to use during med school? What’s the cheapest way to get a hold of said resources?
Wow, resources are something you can find everywhere you look in med school. In fact, sometimes the resources are so overwhelming in number that it can actually be more stressful to know where to start! For me, I find that watching the video recording of lectures and reading the learning guides are best, followed by copiously studying my Anki cards throughout the modules. The lectures are recorded on Mediasite, which can be accessed through the Feinberg student portal using the options bar to the left on that home page, here is the link to Mediasite if you need it: https://mediasite.fsm.northwestern.edu/Mediasite/Login?ReturnUrl=%2fMediasite%2fCatalog%2fFull%2faabef3bc953040b1942932d0b8b9b62121
The learning guides are all on eMerg or in the module packet, which you can use to take notes on in class. Other than that, a lot of people like to read through First Aid to help them or Pathoma. All of these resources can be accessed for free in the google drive that we share with our classes, or the hard copy can be bought online/shared with other students who have it. Hope that helps!! The important thing is really to find your own strategy through time and to explore different options without being afraid of the new.
Q3. What are some things you wish you had done sooner as an M1?
Even though I have explored Chicago a good bit, I sorta wish I had started exploring the city earlier! Obviously time is also a factor in this, but there are so many opportunities to go outside of the downtown area and visit Wrigleyville, Lake View, West Town, and even the suburbs. I have taken trips to Wisconsin with friends and am still trying new restaurants, bars, comedy clubs, etc. I encourage you guys to get to know the city that you will spend 4+ years in and really take in the history, culture, and even the touristy sites! Go on the architecture tour, visit the opera or symphonic orchestra, go to a Cubs game, whatever floats your boat! And also take advantage of the nearby beach and Navy Pier!
Q4. Is it weird or awkward for two people in the same class to date? Are breakups between classmates awkward?
Oh man, dating within the med school is so common that it is almost just the norm for someone to eventually start dating every two months or so. Think about it—we spend five hours plus with these people every day, experiencing an intense and highly specialized curriculum that brings us into this unique culture, with some of the most amazing, bright, and talented people we will ever meet, and all with common interests and pursuits. For some people, this leads to great friendships, and for others, some serious sparks fly. I would definitely not say it is weird, but there are also inherent risks of course. You will be in a small group of students who have to see each other constantly, so you don’t want to do anything to ruin the feng-shui. At the same time, we don’t expect everyone that dates to end up happily ever after, and we are all grown-ups, so we can handle clean break ups and move forward in life. I deferred to one of my friends in the class who has dated within the class and gone through a break up to hear his take on the med-cest:
It's a risk/reward situation, at best you get a partner. That is uniquely able to understand what you are going through and it can forge a really strong and supportive relationship. At worst it can make certain activities uncomfortable and cause division among friends.
If I had to do it over again I would still choose to date someone in my class, but in a different college, as the only awkward times after a break up seem to be in small groups, which are made up mainly of people in your individual college.
Well, there you have it folks! Thanks for submitting your questions, and I look forward to answering any more that you may have in the future!
-Dr. Phil, MDos
Ask Dr. Phil is a column featuring questions submitted anonymously by students and answers by Philip Dinh and his peers. Philip Dinh is a second year medical student.
